I am so frustrated with my current job search. As a stay-at-home mom in the job market, I’m worthless. The “gap” in my resume, the lack of actual “workplace” experience, and being 40 years old make me an undesirable employee.
Every time I try to overcome this sense of rejection and resume my job search, I’m met with the same response. No one wants me. It hurts to realize that. My husband tells me any employer would be lucky to have me, and he lists all my good qualities. Unfortunately, he is not a potential employer, so his sweet words don’t help lift my spirits.
Eighteen years ago, I wholeheartedly chose to put my passion and dream job to the side to raise a family and to manage their busy lives. I did that willingly and lovingly because raising a family was and still is a passion of mine, an even bigger passion than my archeology career.
I love the quote, “Change is the only constant in life,” because nothing stays the same. I’m no exception. When my firstborn was about two and a half years old, I changed my mind, and I decided to pursue my career.
I thought I could do both, have a happy and healthy family and a successful career like so many people. I was wrong. I wasn’t the type to juggle many roles, and I failed epically.
My daughter, who was still a toddler, was negatively affected by my absence for at least eight hours a day. She was happy going to daycare for three hours before we started to extend her hours to accommodate my new schedule. The change wasn’t easy on her, and she began to show some aggression. She stopped listening to me and threw tantrums that were new to her.
I had to stay home and reteach her to address that negative effect. I had to start over with her, beginning with withdrawing her from that daycare to erase all possible negative associations. It took us some time, but we did it, and she regained her calm, happy self.
So, I thought it was worth it to wait on my career until she was old enough and emotionally and physically more developed. When that finally happened, we moved to another country, and I found no place for my degree or experience, so I changed careers. I took a medical interpretation course and started a new chapter. Then I got pregnant with my youngest, and we moved from the Big Apple. Learning from my experience, I had to switch careers again to do something from home. It wasn’t something I was passionate about or even liked, so naturally, I quit.
Again, thinking after my youngest goes to school, I will restart the search and maybe this time will find something that I love or change again to adapt. I kept on searching until COVID-19 happened, and everything was paused.
Now, I’m searching, willing to change, lowering my expectations, ignoring the fact that I have an archaeology degree, speak two languages fluently, have tons of skills, and above all, am very flexible and adaptable. But still, it means nothing in the job market.
I have tons of business ideas, but I have zero experience in owning a business, and I don’t have the networking required to start a successful business.
I feel stuck sometimes, even aimless. I’m not desperate for a job, but I feel like I have a lot of potential that needs an outlet other than my own home. I’m desperate for a change.
