Change Is the Only Constant in Life

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A woman on a job interview. I am so frustrated with my current job search. As a stay-at-home mom in the job market, I’m worthless. The “gap” in my resume, the lack of actual “workplace” experience, and being 40 years old make me an undesirable employee.

Every time I try to overcome this sense of rejection and resume my job search, I’m met with the same response. No one wants me. It hurts to realize that. My husband tells me any employer would be lucky to have me, and he lists all my good qualities. Unfortunately, he is not a potential employer, so his sweet words don’t help lift my spirits.

Eighteen years ago, I wholeheartedly chose to put my passion and dream job to the side to raise a family and to manage their busy lives. I did that willingly and lovingly because raising a family was and still is a passion of mine, an even bigger passion than my archeology career

I love the quote, “Change is the only constant in life,” because nothing stays the same. I’m no exception. When my firstborn was about two and a half years old, I changed my mind, and I decided to pursue my career.

I thought I could do both, have a happy and healthy family and a successful career like so many people. I was wrong. I wasn’t the type to juggle many roles, and I failed epically.

My daughter, who was still a toddler, was negatively affected by my absence for at least eight hours a day. She was happy going to daycare for three hours before we started to extend her hours to accommodate my new schedule. The change wasn’t easy on her, and she began to show some aggression. She stopped listening to me and threw tantrums that were new to her.

I had to stay home and reteach her to address that negative effect. I had to start over with her, beginning with withdrawing her from that daycare to erase all possible negative associations. It took us some time, but we did it, and she regained her calm, happy self.

So, I thought it was worth it to wait on my career until she was old enough and emotionally and physically more developed. When that finally happened, we moved to another country, and I found no place for my degree or experience, so I changed careers. I took a medical interpretation course and started a new chapter. Then I got pregnant with my youngest, and we moved from the Big Apple. Learning from my experience, I had to switch careers again to do something from home. It wasn’t something I was passionate about or even liked, so naturally, I quit.

Again, thinking after my youngest goes to school, I will restart the search and maybe this time will find something that I love or change again to adapt. I kept on searching until COVID-19 happened, and everything was paused.

Now, I’m searching, willing to change, lowering my expectations, ignoring the fact that I have an archaeology degree, speak two languages fluently, have tons of skills, and above all, am very flexible and adaptable. But still, it means nothing in the job market.

I have tons of business ideas, but I have zero experience in owning a business, and I don’t have the networking required to start a successful business.

I feel stuck sometimes, even aimless. I’m not desperate for a job, but I feel like I have a lot of potential that needs an outlet other than my own home. I’m desperate for a change.

Can you relate? Tell me about your experience resuming a career after being a stay-at-home parent for so long. Oh, and how do you deal with the rejection?

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Donia is a stay-at-home Egyptian archaeologist who majored in Egyptology. Egyptology had always been her passion since childhood. But family is her biggest passion. She lives in Mount Kisco with her husband Ayman, their daughters Dania (2005) and Mirette (2012), their cats Tiger and Drogo, and their German Shepherd Max. She is also a stepmom to two girls Nada (1991) and Malak (1995). When she is not busy taking care of her big family, she enjoys anything Sci-Fi and fantasy, watching cooking and baking competition shows, playing the drums, playing tennis with her husband, video games, and DIY projects. According to her girls, she particularly enjoys event and travel planning for her family and always goes all-out and prepares too much for an event. She is excited to join Westchester County Mom to share her experience as an expat and mom.

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