Compassionate Under-Parenting: Meet Lauren


As a parent, I’ve always felt confident in myself and in my ability to make the choices best suited for each of my kids. I’ve never been one to seek approval for my parenting decisions and have always treated my kids as little people with lots of potential.

I’ve often referred to my parenting style as “compassionate under-parenting.” I may be responsible for these tiny humans, but it’s not my job to micro-manage their emotions or to exist solely to meet their every want and desire.

I want my kids to feel empowered to create their own happiness. There’s a confidence that comes when you’re doing those things that are innately you, abandoning assumptions and external expectations of what you should like and should want to do, and exploring the things that make you feel alive. The best way I could think of to demonstrate this was to do it for myself and take them along for the ride.

I am now a multi-passionate mother of three, working both for myself from home, and also at a local non-profit. As a (totally clueless) dance mom and former PTA co-chair, I’m very involved in my kids’ lives, but also unapologetically still just the real me. Since leaving the corporate world in 2009, I’ve been incredibly fortunate (and even very deliberate) in both carving out time for my own professional and personal pursuits, while being able to spend tons of time with my kids.

I show up EVERY day for my kids, and I’m also keenly aware that I’m demonstrating to them that I also show up for myself EVERY day. Showing them that I, too, get to be a priority in my own life. 

My husband and I bought our house in Mt Kisco in 2006, right before we got married. We quickly filled our home with the addition of three kids in 2008 (Mia), 2009 (Jacob), and 2012 (Abigail). We’ve since moved to a bigger house, but still love this community we call home for all its charm and convenience.

I make no apologies about being my perfectly imperfect self… I curse, I love lazy days spent in pajamas, I hate cleaning up after myself, and I don’t like to cook. I’m blessed to have a husband who loves me despite those things (and doesn’t mind cooking and cleaning up after us).

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Lauren Schwarzfeld was born and raised in Yorktown, and aside from college in Boston and a few months living in New York City, she has spent her entire life in Westchester. She has lived in Mt Kisco with her husband Karl since 2006, where they have three kids, Mia (2008), Jacob (2009), Abigail (2012), and two dogs, Edna (a four-year-old beagle) and Felix (a one-year-old pitbull-lab mix). Lauren is a writer, coach, and leader in community engagement. She helps women rediscover their strengths, passion, and confidence to reclaim their spot in their life and step outside the box of perceived expectations. Her goal is for women to create a future that is authentically and unapologetically their own. As the Chief Operating Officer at (914) Cares, a local non-profit, she combines her business background with a passion for volunteer work and desire to care for the community around her. Connect with Lauren on Facebook or through her website!