Is your family bilingual? Do you speak two languages or more at home? Then I hope my parenting failure is your gain. The one thing I regret every single day is not teaching my kids their mother tongue.
I had my reasons, or I thought I did. But now, it is clear that it wasn’t the smartest parenting technique. When my kids were younger, I focused on teaching them English (my second language), thinking they would naturally pick up their mother tongue, but boy, was I wrong!
Back in Egypt, my older daughter was enrolled in a British school, our TV was exclusively English, her books and games were in English, and we spoke English at home most of the time. As a result, English became her first language, and she could not utter a word in Arabic.
She was five when we moved to the US, and she was fluent in English. She had no issue making friends or blending in. I was so relieved and more confident in my choice to focus on the English language. But she was uninterested when I tried to teach her Arabic at home. She resisted and refused to sit down for a lesson. I let it pass since the last thing I wanted to do was force her. Plus, she was also learning French. So I thought it wasn’t a big deal.
For my second child, the circumstances were different. Everything around them was in English by default, so I spoke to them in Arabic. They loved it, and they would even ask me to teach them more of it. But it was only me exposing them to the language, no TV in Arabic, no books or songs, and no games. They realized they didn’t really use it when they went to school, so they lost interest. Again, I didn’t persist and let it go.
And although both understand some Arabic, they both spoke so little and with heavy accents. They don’t read it at all, and it breaks my heart.
It’s my fault. Let’s not make it yours. If you are bilingual and want your children to speak their mother tongue, start with it. Make it your language at home. Make it the TV language, their cartoon, songs, and games language.
They will pick up English fast at school and on play dates. It’s always easier to teach languages to younger children, although it’s not impossible to learn when you are older, it’s not the same.
Why speak a mother tongue? Knowing a second language is always a bonus. It expands your horizon. It gives access to more knowledge, an immersive experience of other cultures, and an appreciation of diverse arts. It gives them more social and occupational opportunities in the future.
In addition, studies have shown that bilingual children can excel in certain subjects at school. Bilingualism can help improve cognitive functions and social skills, among other benefits like delaying neurological diseases like dementia and Alzheimer’s and many more.
