I’m not originally from New York. I moved to NYC along with my fiancé (now husband) in what was supposed to be a two-year ‘visit’ for graduate school. Graduate school for a master’s degree turned into a Ph.D. program studying cognitive psychology (with a concentration in neuroscience). Somewhere in there, we got married. He began building his career in the city (he’s a chef, and NYC obviously has a great culinary scene), which turned into us having a child while still living in the city.
Our little condo quickly became crowded. With two dogs and two cats (did I mention we worked in animal rescue on the side before having a kid?), plus three humans, 900 square foot condo in NYC started to feel pretty suffocating. I’m still finishing my Ph.D., so moving far from the city wasn’t an option. The choices were to try to stay in our tiny condo, try to find a bigger place that met a long list of must-haves in the city or leave the city altogether. My husband and I grew up in the suburbs, so the suburbs won.
I knew of Westchester from having extended family in the area. Living in the city for a few years allowed me to learn a bit more about the county. I knew it had amazing schools, plenty of nature, and was still commutable for us. After considering Long Island, New Jersey, and Connecticut (all wonderful places to live and raise families as well), Westchester won.
The adjustment took a while. Okay, I’ll be honest; I hated it the first few months. I couldn’t walk anywhere like I could in the city, and we moved in the dead of winter with an infant, so playgrounds were out. I was also just getting back to my studies after maternity leave, so signing up for mommy and me classes was initially difficult. And all of our friends were back in NYC. But Westchester began growing on me, just as spring brought all of nature back to life around us. By summer, I was home.
Part of what helped me adjust was joining a new moms’ group led by a mom who had recently moved from the same neighborhood I had. I met other moms there, some who had moved from the city, some who hadn’t. I’m still friendly with all of them, thankfully (hi, ladies! You are all awesome!). I joined some activities and met more moms there, too.
But something was still missing. It took a while to figure it out. But it turns out, it was me.
Becoming a parent does a pretty good job of keeping you from investing in yourself. Between raising a child, tending to a household, trying to finish my studies, and working in the laboratory on my research, there was no time for myself. At least, that is what I convinced myself of.
Something needed to change. I was feeling incredibly stressed and needed an outlet. And that is when I saw Westchester County Moms Blog was looking for new contributors. I’d been following the blog for over a year since deciding we were going to join the Westchester community. Blogging offered a lot that I liked; writing, the opportunity to engage in community education and advocacy, photography, and webpage design/management (especially if I set up my own website to share additional content and links to my publications with Westchester County Moms Blog).
I promptly applied, set up my own website, and started writing. This happened to all occur around the time the world came crashing down around us. COVID-19 hit our community hard. And suddenly, blogging took on a whole new meaning for me. My work as a researcher came to a screeching halt; I was in my data collection phase and required access to my lab to continue my work. My little one was home from preschool. My husband, who had just launched a hospitality company, was suddenly home as well (growing the company had to be temporarily put on hold). Social plans…gone. Playground excursions…gone.
Blogging became a way to connect with the world around me. To process my grief. To refocus my attention inward, towards my home, and encourage me to keep a steady stream of novel activities available for my little one. Not just because it helped keep me sane by keeping my child happy, but also because it gave me new ideas to share with readers/followers on my blog, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest.
Big disclaimer; I was a preschool teacher and a special educator in my previous life, plus spent a year student teaching in an elementary school (1st and 2nd grades) during college. Coming up with activities for young kids is something I’ve spent years doing professionally, and more importantly, enjoy. So, if you aren’t great at it, if you hate planning activities, if trying to keep an active schedule for your LO has been difficult during social distancing, guess what? You’re not alone, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. While I hope that sharing activities helps spark readers’ inspiration, I would also hate for doing so to put any pressure on those who find it grueling. We put enough pressure on ourselves without the mommy blogger set telling us we are doing it wrong.
“In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves”.
-Myla & Jon Kabat-Zinn
That quote by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn (the latter being a prominent name in the mindfulness and psychology communities, as the founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) really resonates with me. I never thought I’d find myself blogging, but my child brought me to it, and it has helped me reconnect with the joy I once found in writing for fun.
I’m so excited to join this amazing platform and grateful for the outlet it is providing me, especially during these difficult times. Blogging has helped me reconnect with myself and connect with the community beyond myself, even during social distancing. I hope as we move beyond this difficult time, I will continue to invest in more of my passions. Taking time to reinvest in myself makes me a better parent, wife, and all-around human being. As mothers, as parents, I think that is something we all hope for; to continue becoming better versions of ourselves for everyone in our lives. And hopefully, that includes for us, as well.
Enjoyed the Blog. Looking forward to reading more.
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