No, I’m not wishing anyone a mediocre Christmas; just personally endeavoring towards one. That’s right. This holiday season I shall strive for mediocrity. There is no bah-humbugging in this goal. On the contrary, I intend to enjoy it to the maximum. But in order to do so, I’ve found setting the bar low is absolutely the way to go.
To do lists? I plan to treat them as I would my children’s wish lists: purely aspirational and utterly unrealistic. They are guideposts, the majority of which will simply not happen. In fact, I’ve created my own personal “to-don’t” list as an antidote to my tendency this time of year to take my perfectionism to new heights and, hence, new personal lows and mommy-dearest moments. This year, I will pay more attention to my to-don’ts than my to-dos.
I plan to be pleasantly surprised if one strand of lights actually lights up without a glitch. I will not make a desperate run to Target or spend a red cent on Amazon to make sure my house looks like a winter wonderland. I also vow not to take a bread knife to the top of my Christmas tree to even out the top limb (as I have done in years past). I will not rearrange the ornaments my kids hang to make sure they’re spread out properly and symmetrically. These are surefire ways of a stunning end result that misses the forest for the Christmas tree (which will be coming down in a matter of weeks anyway). Also, I will leave the Christmas lights up til January, or maybe even February. If Taylor Swift can do it, so can I.
I have also come to accept over the years that I’m not Martha Stewart. Years ago I had a vague yearning to rise to her level of culinary, decorating greatness, but I have come to accept that not only is this not in my stars; I don’t want it to be even remotely on my horizon. My fine motor skills, patience in the kitchen, and interest in puff pastries and centerpieces are entirely non-existent. I will keep my appetizers small and simple, my dinners basic and mostly frozen/pre-prepared. My desserts shall mostly entail cookie dough from the refrigerated section of the grocery store, preferably the pre-cut kind.
When it comes to gifts, less definitely can be more, no matter what our kids (not to mention commercials and social media ads) may suggest, imply or implore to the contrary. Same goes for tipping. I don’t know when endless gift cards with money enclosed to people I really don’t think deserve anything extra became my norm. At the top of my to-don’t list this year is the refusal to be guilt-tripped by my own psyche into going overboard with the spending. I’d rather pour that sentiment into catching up with people who matter to me, saying thank you from the heart to the people out there who are working hard this holiday season, and looking for ways to give to those genuinely in need. Generosity can take many forms, and the best ones usually don’t involve a credit card.
Which brings me to the greatest gift of all: spending time with our family, particularly extended family. Yes, we love them. But if we find them annoying at various points throughout the rest of the year, it’s a virtual guarantee they will annoy us during the holidays. Leave them be, for goodness sake don’t talk politics, toast inwardly to their imperfections, and have a good laugh later.
And picture-taking? This holiday season I choose to opt for the candid over the posed, knowing full well these will be the ones we really savor years from now. No one likes to be forced to smile or pose. Ever. Not even and especially not on special occasions. That kind of pressure is a guaranteed dud of a capture. I’d rather skip the picture-taking altogether and watch real-time.
Just because those happily-ever-after holiday movies and seemingly flawless social media posts seem to be glaring at you in stark contrast to your own reality doesn’t mean your reality is inadequate or worse than anyone else’s. It isn’t a competition, and if it is, I’m prepared to come in flat last. This can be the most wonderful time of year, but it can also be insanely and unnecessarily stressful. Why not dispense entirely with the expectation of picture-perfect and opt for the mellow, somewhat cockeyed, funny, cozy, and thoroughly comfortable alternative?
Wishing everyone a decent, just-fine-thank-you-very-much holiday season and a solid B of a New Year. Make this holiday season your own, without apology.
