Mom Friends: Real Life vs. Virtual


I have a confession. Though I’ve been ‘momming” for almost 10 years, a lot of the time I have no idea what I am doing. Do you feel this way too? Please tell me you feel this way; otherwise, this conversation will be really awkward….

Yes? Ok. GREAT. You know what I am talking about. You know, the times when your daughter is begging you for a cell phone because “everyone in her class” has one, or when your son pleads with you to have Doritos in his lunch because “Jimmy” gets a bag every day and he has all of the cool snacks. So, my BFF and my muse over the past few years have been my FB groups. Yes. Groups of women who share a common goal of doing the best they can to raise their children every day. The virtual mom friend does exist in my life, and I literally depend on it.

There are a few mom groups that I am a part of on Facebook, that serve a few categories in my mom-life. One as an informational, local mom group for all things local to my city – school happenings, family and kid events, random questions about new stores opening, stores closing… The other as a safe space to vent – vent about the kids, vent about significant others, vent about jobs, vent about needing support – just venting. I am so thankful for that group. I’ve only been a member for a short amount of time, but it is my solace every day. It’s like everyone there just “gets it.”

I feel like being a part of these groups helps me to cope every day with the expectations of being a mother, a wife, and just handling it all and doing it “greatly.” You sometimes start to look at what others post about their families doing their quarterly portraits, or their family game times, or their visits to their extended family, or their amazing trips overseas, and start to feel like you aren’t doing your best at being a mother, ruler of your household. That is when I come to these Facebook groups, and see what the others are saying.

Sometimes women are looking for support with a decision, sometimes they are having a terrible day, and sometimes they want to praise a situation that they have overcome successfully. These are the stories and scenarios I love to read about. It grounds me. It lets me know that we are all similar in our feelings. It helps me to see that we can always use some support from virtual mamas.

I love that I can present anything that I want in these groups and get honest answers without judgment. You can anonymously post a scenario and get real answers without knowing who posted the question. Sometimes you may want to post anonymously because you don’t want your close circle to see what you are going through in your personal life. Still, you crave answers that are not rehearsed or responses that are “sugar-coated” because the person you are asking knows a lot about your experience.

It is fantastic to have your friends and your physical support group. That is always first and foremost in my circle, but I also love the fact that I have my Virtual Mom support system at my fingertips.