Memories have been popping up lately, and as the movie reel of life keeps rolling, a smile takes over my heart as I exhale.
The movie reel keeps spinning around and around, whether I press play or not, often causing me to become speechless, knowing these are moments I can’t get back. They continue to move forward.
It never stops and only allows me to pause now and then, no matter how many times I try to stop time.
As a mom, sometimes I’m on my knees wishing for days to rapidly fast forward or to get through a certain phase, but other days I’m grasping frantically for the rewind button to stop time and soak it all in.
But I can’t stop life from happening and growing around me.
Rather I need to embrace it and allow myself to feel it. Feel it. Really feel it and embrace it all.
So lately, I feel emotions through a tearful smile…
As I reflect, pride takes over at the memory of struggling through torturous reading comprehension activities but remaining confident.
As I reflect, joy embraces me at the memory of persevering through middle school and navigating the days which overflowed with insecurities and those awkward moments of self-doubt.
As I reflect, strength surrounds me and reminds me of how the softball team didn’t work out as planned, but practice and perseverance led to a starting position the following year.
As I reflect, happiness consumes my heart, as I recall many accolades of praise about a kind heart and a desire to help others.
My tearful smile is deep-rooted in love.
My tearful smile is pure amazement at how challenges are tackled, head-on, with grace.
My tearful smile reflects my pride for who you are and all you are bound to become.
So as I gently wipe away my tears of joy. I believe for a moment that the movie reel has paused.
I can still feel your five-year-old hand, entwined in mine, swinging through the air.
But as the movie reel keeps playing, what I truly feel is the warmth of a woman holding my hand, who reflects the inner strength, confidence, and copious amounts of love.