An Ode to Cousins From the Parent of an Only

When I was younger, my Aunt always did the “necklace trick” to determine how many children I would have when I grew up. If you’re unfamiliar with this trick (or sorcery, blasphemy, cruel joke as I began to call it as I got older), you hold a necklace with a pendant over the top side of your hand. If it swings back and forth, your future predicts a girl. If it circles round and round, it’s a boy. You continue to do this until the necklace stops. 

Guess what I got every. Single. Time….5 boys. When I was younger, I would squeal with delight at the thought of a large family. But as I grew up and began to understand the gravity of being a parent, I quickly stopped allowing my Aunt to do the necklace trick.

It turns out it really was just a trick as I’m happily “finished” with only one son completing my family.

I knew I was finished having kids as soon as I got home from the hospital. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great pregnancy and was incredibly grateful to have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I just knew I was done. 

It’s been difficult explaining that to people when they ask if I’ll have another. When I say no, the look on their faces usually makes me feel like I have to explain further or apologize.

The truth of the matter is, we’re complete. I don’t need to explain my reasons any further. 

But for those that know me and know I’m one of four girls, I always feel the need to justify the choice of not giving my son siblings. And I do that with one word: Cousins. My son has the most amazing cousins that treat him like a sibling…actually, better than a sibling because they never fight with him (yet). 

So in honor of National Cousin Day on July 24th, here is my ode to cousins from the parent of a One & Done.

Cousins are the saving grace

When in your family there’s only one little face.

Cousins may be older, younger, or just the same age

But cousins will love each other without all that sibling rage.

Cousins share a bond formed from two extremely close moms

Whose love for their siblings knows no ending bounds.

And while your only’s day to day may be spent solo

Having cousins means there will always be footsteps to follow

Footsteps that know the winding path to this family tree

Cousins understand the crazy family pedigree.

Cousins do not care about sharing the same surname

Cousins will love each other just the same

So thank you to my only’s cousins who allow me to answer honestly

The question of if only one is just for me.

My answer is a resounding yes! my Only completes me

But only thanks to my sisters’ progenies.

Happy National Cousin Day!