Dear Senior

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 seniorDear Senior,

It’s hard to let you go a little more, day by day, but be patient with me through this process…I’m trying.

It’s hard watching you continue to grow, knowing you will be on your own…I’m trying.

It’s hard reliving memories and often wanting to put it all on pause…I’m trying.

It’s hard knowing I have made so many mistakes and wish I could back in time and redo it all…I’m trying.

It’s hard believing my once missing front tooth child with dirty knees is now ready to put on a cap and gown and fly…I’m trying.

It’s hard gazing at you, feeling flooded with hundreds of emotions and attempting to keep it all together…I’m trying, so please be patient with me.

But you know what isn’t hard?

It’s not hard watching you overcome challenges, persevere, and find your path.

It’s not hard embracing every moment you feel joy and allowing it to seep inside of me too.

It’s not hard to listen to your laugh, the same laugh you had as a toddler.

It’s not hard to know. Even though miles will soon separate us, you are ready to be on your own. You are independent with a strong head on your shoulders.

It’s not hard to relish in your accomplishments, for each one is well deserved.

It’s not hard to embrace you and feel all of our hugs since the beginning of time.

It’s not hard to gaze at you with wonder as tears form and a smile parts my lips, for I know your future is nothing but bright.

It’s not hard to watch you love.

It’s not hard to watch you live.

It’s not hard to watch you grow into your authentic self.

It’s not hard to watch you share your gifts with the world.

So as I stand by watching you, please be patient. Because even though I am watching a miraculous blessing grow in front of my eyes, it’s hard some days. But know I’m trying.

I’m trying to let go bit by bit to fully allow your wings to slowly open and soar to depths you only know.

So as you continue to fly along your journey, know in your heart, I am trying, and this mama will continue to send you silent prayers of comfort, love, and all you have ever dreamed of for your beautiful, magical life.

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Ali lives in New York with her four teenage daughters and her husband. After moving around a bit as a child, she spent her teen years in Westchester county, moved to NYC for college and returned to Westchester fifteen years ago. Prior to having the girls, she was an English teacher, and on the side always enjoyed writing with the hope to one day publish a poetry book. In her free time, Ali enjoys going on long runs, browsing independent bookstores, catching up with friends. She is in a constant state of doing laundry, cooking, policing arguments, driving to and from activities, and trying her best to be the kind of mom her girls will admire, even on her worst days. Ali is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart. You can follow Ali on Facebook at https:www.facebook.com/hangintheremama/ and on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/hang.in.there.mama

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