A Reminder That It Is Okay

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it's okayThis month I went back to work after about five months of parental leave. It has been a roller coaster of a month, balancing childcare, work, sick kids, sick self, breastfeeding, self-care, and lots of household responsibilities (meals, errands, laundry, dropping/picking up the kids, scheduling play dates, and extracurricular activities) including a home renovation. 

I have felt a lot of times that I was not giving my all to anything, and that felt pretty crappy. As I sit and write all of these things that I have had on my plate, I realize it is a lot, and I need to cut myself some slack. As a mom, we often put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything, not just to do it, but to do it right.

As kids are back in school and holidays are approaching, let us all remind ourselves:

1. It is okay to make mistakes. We are only doing our best. When feeling the guilt, remember that what matters is that our kids are fed (however you decide to feed them), clothed, housed, happy, and loved.

2. It is okay to take a break and breathe. When my older daughter gets overwhelmed, we often tell her to stop, breathe, and count to 10. I need to follow this advice.   

3. It is okay to say no to things that don’t work for you. This is my biggest challenge. My older daughter is at the age where she wants to do everything her friends are doing and, after the pandemic, I try to accommodate her. However, I realize that sometimes these things won’t work for the rest of the family, and that is okay. This also means saying no to other events and not over-scheduling to make up for the lost time.

4. It is okay to accept help whenever you can get it. This is another one that has been hard for me. I am typically Type A and like to get things done when I want them done. But I know I need to learn to accept help graciously, especially now with two kids.

5. Prioritizing is okay, and that means it is okay to take some ME time. It is okay to let your child watch TV or have the iPad to get this time. It’s also okay for dishes, laundry, or other chores to sit there. It is simply okay.

Sometimes we need a reminder that it is okay to take a break from everything we have going on because it is a lot to juggle. We moms need to be gracious with ourselves.

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Bena is a a wife and mom to a little girl born in July 2017 and another little girl born in April 2021. Her and her husband, both born and raised in Long Island, randomly ended up living in New Rochelle, Westchester when they fell in love with the downtown area, which had the best of two worlds, walking distance to parks, coffee shops, great restaurants and a short drive away from great hikes and nature. Since then they have moved a hop, skip and away to Pelham, which is an adorable little town. Mostly, Bena is just trying to figure out how to do this mom thing, while also working a full-time job. After a few years of the juggling act, she feels a little more confident, but everyday there are new challenges, especially when #2 arrived. When she is not momming, she is usually lawyering, working out, cooking, running errands or somewhere out exploring nature and the world (pre-covid, of course)!

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