Playing Favorites


favorite child

As a mom to multiple children, could it be true that I favor one!? Am I playing favorites?

What a shameful thought! Besides, it has always been said, “A mother loves all her children equally.” Deep down, I know that to be true, but that’s not to say I don’t favor one of my four children at this moment in time. I have come to terms with this fact and have been told repeatedly by the “others” that I do play favorites.

Emotionally, it’s a downright messy, touchy subject in my house. Maybe it is in yours too. But guess what? It’s only natural and bound to happen because our kids are really just an extension of ourselves. I have a theory that the more that particular child mirrors us, the more we are drawn to them. So don’t deny you have a favorite kid (and besides, the “others” won’t let you).

My grown-up baby is a lover of words too. I’m still carrying around the poem he wrote to me when I turned the big 50, still dumbfounded by its beauty. He’s very patient and listens to his wacky mom when she’s having a moment, without waving me away with those wretched earphones on! This doesn’t happen too often, of course, but enough to validate my sanity so I can move on. And speaking of sanity, this “special kid” drove me crazy during his teen years, more so than his siblings. Maybe he’s just returning the favor as we have come full circle as respected mom and responsible grownup son, bonded by struggles and triumph. I can’t deny my pride in him, either.

Another theory of playing favorites can best be explained by relating to an ancient pastime, musical chairs, hopefully, recalled by most of you.

I feel that my other three children are many times grabbing my chair when the music stops, and I’m left standing, whereas the favorite grabs ME a chair, and I get to sit, so to speak.

He’s thoughtful enough to cover me with a blanket when I  fall asleep on the sofa, or he runs to the local store at late hours to grab a carton of milk. But aside from all this, his occasional hugs and kisses on the forehead for no real reason are the absolute best. Even though I’m thoroughly obsessed with my two-year-old grandson’s arms locked around my neck, a big boy’s bear hug towering over me a bit is pretty heartwarming too.

And now I have to jump out of the frying pan real quick before I get burned! My last theory of why there’s always a fave kid is that the “others” are responsible for giving him that title. There’s no envy really because each time I gave birth, I was totally amazed by that new little person, and those moments that enriched my life forever; 6:10 p.m., 12:58 p.m., 6:37 a.m., and 10:35 a.m. I’ve made sure all my kids know that to be the biggest truism. And indeed, they never cease to amaze me, including the “others” because they have traits I so admire.

There’s my big girl, who gave birth to the newest love of my life and takes care of my grandson with the utmost tenderness. My oldest son, nicknamed the “golden child,” who can repair any item from a household appliance to an excavator. And my baby girl who is confident and can carry a meaningful conversation with anyone of any age.

So, when all is said and done, I ultimately don’t play favorites, but I do favor being a mother and grandmother. I’m sure ALL moms out there would agree; whether you are a mom to one or ten children, it’s the best!