I’ve been working in Corporate America for a little over 26 years. And as 16 of those were in Human Resources, you can safely assume that I’ve been afforded quite the opportunity to observe the best and worst of human interactions. Which is keenly similar to how social media lets us observe mankind these days, right? So I thought – what would it look like if we merged these two worlds? Here I take some common office-life scenarios with a social media spin….
Let’s check in and tell everyone where we are, how we feel, and what we’re doing….
Checked into the office and is feeling tired. Monday again. #wheredidtheweekendgo
Melissa is freezing! ISO a big fat sweater! @facilitiesdepartment – FYI! Turn down the A/C….#moremoneyfortheshareholders
Feeling confused… Here’s a new one…[email protected] just met with a candidate for your job opening. She brought her mother to the interview! Granted she stayed in the reception area, but still. #youcantmakethisstuffup #newhire
Melissa is disgusted… I’ll never understand the “pee on the toilet seat and not clean it up” concept. Just me?
Melissa is perplexed… Why is my work husband not responding to my email? He must have died. Or he better have died. J/K!
Checked into the conference room with @Elena, @Phyllis and @Sarah. IMHO, yet another meeting that could have been an email.
Melissa checked into the Marriott Hotel in Boston… Department offsite meeting for the next two days! #businessmeeting
WTH kind of team building exercise is this?
Casual Friday gone too far? #smileforthecamera #imtellingHR
No wait. THIS is casual Friday really gone too far? #putsomeclotheson #TMI
Unless this has your name on it, please leave it alone. #stopstealingmyfood
What the office looks like on Christmas Eve… #cuethetumbleweeds
TGIF! This week has been a bear….drinks @crystal @amy @carrie? #DonttellHR
I’ll never understand talking on your cell phone in the bathroom stall… #awkward.
It’s like Groundhog Day with these password issues. @billmurray Can you help? Every morning. Please submit a ticket to the help desk they say. #Howcanidothatifiamlockedout #wherearethesmartpeople
Finally listened to all of my voice mail messages. I had 27. TWENTY-SEVEN! Text or email, my friends. #whocallspeopleanymore #its2018not1995
Whoever invented speak phone is most definitely laughing their butts off at us right now. #canyouhearmenow
What’s the one thing that gets the accounting department moving? When another department has a team meeting, caters in lunch and there are leftovers. #scavengers
How many birthdays, work anniversaries, baby showers and wedding celebrations can we possibly celebrate? All these cakes are making me fat – and FWIW I can’t get to the gym because I’m always here working! #weightwatcherstakemeaway #whereismyqualityofworklife
Holding my nose. ICYMI….You DO NOT cook fish in a work microwave.
Hold on there cowboy…you can use a breath mint. #closetalker
The refrigerator is NOT to used as a garbage disposal. Throw your food away if you don’t want it. #growup
IDBI How many times do I have to introduce myself to this dude in marketing? #howdoyounotknowwhoIambynow?
The awkward elevator good mornings….if I don’t look at the CEO, he can’t see me right?
@Jeff can we please stop having pre-meetings to talk about the real meeting? #wasteoftime #agendaplease
When you send an email to a colleague and they reply and copy in your boss. GR8. The CYA tactic is so unattractive.
@YC, what’s the NUB doing? Doesn’t he know that water cooler chats don’t really happen AT the water cooler?
Yet another restructuring effort. Hmm….this approach sounds familiar. Oh, I know! This one seems to return us to the processes and structure we had right before this most recent reorganization. #againsmartpeople #corporateamerica
An add to staff?! You’re going to need the Pope’s approval on that job requisition! #goodluckwiththat
FWIW….let me get this straight. There is a hiring freeze and a salary freeze, but still totally cool to take the whole sales group to Costa Rica? Just my POV.
How do you know that you rock at your job? You consistently receive all the assignments that others don’t finish. DIY slackers.
When your new boss looks astonished as you reference the BOAT people – an acronym that could be considered slightly un-PC……BOAT = Business Operations Analyst Team #itsallabouttheacronyms
Don’t let the printer see you nervous. They know. #dontletthemseeyousweat I neeeeed that document for @John!
Yea, yea, we know you were on mute…..Yep, we know you have a hard stop at 11 a.m…..Yea, yea….we all received the document before the call. #conferencecalls #helpme
Hey there @Steven – thanks for being late to the meeting. Time to review everything again. #bangmyhead
Having soooo many meetings/calls that you never have time to do the work. WTH
Hey @IT – Is “Clear your cache” is the new “Turn off the computer and turn it on again?” #submitatickettoIT
@Michelle – Bob’s last day is Friday….let’s go raid his office! That fancy stapler is mine! #toosoon? LOL!
OMG, HR just walked by with cardboard boxes. Who is getting canned now? #Grimreaper
I love my work family. There’s no way that I could survive the madness without them. ILYSM #donteverleave
Any of this sound familiar?
Office-isms can be frustrating, predictable and irk the heck out of us, but at the same time they sorta keep it interesting and entertaining…..
If you work or have worked in an office, hopefully this gave you a chuckle or two. And if you haven’t had the pleasure of the office experience yet – I hope I haven’t scared you! Although, it is possible these social media office-isms may give you the hint to stay far, far away…IMHO, that is.