Wandering & Wondering


wonderingFriends, I have been thinking. My mind begins wandering and wondering when I’m walking alone, and each time my walk is over, I come to the same conclusion.

When I start to question and perseverate on the little things as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend, I have to take a step back and recognize I’m trying each day to be my best self and that is truly all I can do. And I bet some of you are doing the same. 

Actually, I KNOW you are doing the same, trying your best every day but questioning if it’s enough—no matter what kind of day it is.

On the days flowing smoothly, I do my best to keep the momentum going, crossing my fingers it will not waver. It is enough.

On days filled with hardships, I do my best to find solutions and move forward, praying for a change in the day. It is enough.

Some days I’m overcome with overwhelming emotions of feeling inadequate, but once again, I keep trying my best. It may take some convincing from my hubby or BFF to move along and lots of reassurance but I keep putting one foot in front of the other. It is enough.

There are many days I feel my kids despise me for the decisions I make which don’t fit their agenda or wants, but again I’m trying my best to parent them, and the big picture is my foundation. It is enough.

You see friends, I’m not searching to BE the best, and I know you’re not either. We simply want to know we tried each day, and we can confidently lay our heads on the pillow each night with no regrets. 

That’s all I want. A life with no regrets. I’m wondering, maybe it’s what you want too?

So as I wander along, placing one foot in front of the other, I welcome with open arms each day and all it will bring to me.

The ugly and the hard mixed with the peaceful and smooth.

The loving and endless hugs combined with eye rolls and sighs. 

The boring and mundane bonded together with impulsive excitement and new adventures.

Each day enhances my life, takes me to a deeper level of understanding and allows me, once again, to try to be my best for myself and those around me.

So as I keep walking this road, my mind will continue wandering and wondering with the hope of no regrets. We owe it ourselves. It truly is enough.

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Ali lives in New York with her four teenage daughters and her husband. After moving around a bit as a child, she spent her teen years in Westchester county, moved to NYC for college and returned to Westchester fifteen years ago. Prior to having the girls, she was an English teacher, and on the side always enjoyed writing with the hope to one day publish a poetry book. In her free time, Ali enjoys going on long runs, browsing independent bookstores, catching up with friends. She is in a constant state of doing laundry, cooking, policing arguments, driving to and from activities, and trying her best to be the kind of mom her girls will admire, even on her worst days. Ali is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart. You can follow Ali on Facebook at https:www.facebook.com/hangintheremama/ and on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/hang.in.there.mama