When a Mom Loses Her Dad

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After losing my dad several years ago, I seriously dreaded my first Father’s Day without him. But the anticipation was a hundred times worse than getting through the actual day. And since then, sadly, I’ve gotten used to living my days fatherless. Even though the annual angst of Dad’s Day never diminished, I started to use this day to reflect on what my dad meant to me.
 
Of course, I was nothing less than incredibly privileged to grow up with him by my side. He was next to me on my wedding day, walking me down the aisle, and I was the one who made him a grandfather. Naturally, I thought my dad would be by my side for many years to come, but as we all know, life takes many twists and turns, and nothing ever stays the same – good or bad. Even though my dad’s illness was short and his death was sudden, I imagine it still feels like getting jolted with a bolt of lightening for any daughter, under different circumstances, when she loses her dad.
 

Even now as a middle-aged woman, I really miss my dad.

There’s a connection between a father and daughter that remains the same, the core values transcending your role as wife, mother, and even grandmother. A daughter’s mom dispenses invaluable advice and massive doses of criticism, which is mostly constructive and invaluable. Just take a look at the children you have raised and how many times while interacting with them you sound pathetically just like your mother. But this is not the case with a mom’s dad.

My dad worried about my feelings, not so much my actions (mom was very active on the that front), from feeling left out at school as a child, to feeling alone and isolated after giving birth to my first child. He guided me through my fear of giving birth to more children and the fear of failing when running a household financially, physically, emotionally, and otherwise. My dad knew all this telepathically and knew just what to say to lift my spirits or to listen when I realistically accepted the obstacles ahead. I never had to utter a sound. He just felt it all.

So, for all this, I truly miss my Dad on Father’s Day, and every day. But, I am so very grateful for my the father my husband has become and how he truly warms my heart. I know my Daddy is watching from above and will be there as long as I need him. I listen to quiet reminders of his love.

Cherish the times with your dad if  he is still in your life, but remember when a mom loses her dad, she never loses the love.

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fran
Fran was born, raised, married, and still lives in Mount Kisco, NY. She has four kids, including a teenage daughter and two precious grandsons, whom she babysits a couple of days a week. She also works part-time as an accounting clerk, helps run her husband’s excavation business, and lastly aspires to finish writing her book one day. Despite her crazy, busy schedule, she cooks almost every night for her big family and tries her best to keep up with the dishes! She truly believes spontaneity is the spice of life, and sometimes the very unexpected happens, but it’s usually all for the best. Enjoy her many tales of raising kids over 20 years; what an amazing journey!