Ringing in 2019 with 19 Wishes for My Children



The new year always makes me reflect on how to be a better person. Raising two daughters is not easy, but extremely rewarding, and they do things every day that amaze me. “She’s getting so big,” I think to myself as my youngest declares her independence by shouting, “No mama, I do!” “Wow, that phase is really over,” I say to myself as my eldest declares that “Mickey Mouse is a baby show,” and I stare at her wondering where she put the tiny girl who adored Mickey just a few months ago.

Time seems to be moving faster than I can manage, so instead of my own resolutions this year, I decided to make a list of resolutions for my children instead. I’ve compiled 19 wishes that I have for them as they grow. As a mom rushing through this life of work, packing lunches, Girl Scout drop offs, cooking, volunteering, and waking up to do it all over again, it’s hard to find the time to share all my hopes and dreams I have for them. I try my best with daily words of encouragement but thought that 2019 would be the perfect time to finally get them all down on paper (or the inter-webs at least). While these wishes were intended for my two daughters, I hope some of you can relate to them as mothers, parents and individuals wanting to make the best of the lives we were given…

1. Surround yourself with good people. While family is always number one, there are times that they can’t or won’t be there. Make sure you find friends who are good to you and create a solid support system. Because true friendship is about giving and taking, be their support, be their confidants and most importantly, be someone they can rely on just like you rely on them. Special friendships should be treasured.

2. Always Try Your Best. Even when you think it’s not enough. Norman Vincent Peale said it best, “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Regardless of the outcome, trying your best will always put you in a better place than you were before.

3. Follow whatever it is you dream to be. I often look back on my college days and think of all the persuasion I was given from well-intentioned family members. I always loved psychology and fashion but never pursued it because I didn’t think I could “make it” in those fields. I want you both to follow whatever it is that your heart desires. Once you find it, don’t stop until you become it.

4. Travel often and see the world. I was fortunate enough to visit many countries at a young age and I think it has shaped me into the person I am today. Words can’t describe the people I’ve met, the places I’ve seen, and the experiences I’ve had with so many different cultures. They have shaped me and have opened my eyes to things I never would have known or imagined. Whenever the opportunity arises…go.

5. Make safe choices as women. Women can do anything men can do, but women also have to be careful with the situations they are put in. I have put myself in some compromising situations and I know that inevitably you will too. Make good choices and surround yourselves with people who make similar choices. Stay safe and always do what you feel is right emotionally and physically. 

6. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. You will do things that disappoint you. You will fail and you will do things you deeply regret. Why? Because you are human. Always hold your head up high and know that you are part of the forever erring human race. Everyone makes mistakes and the best part about them is that you learn from them. It has no impact on who you are or who you want or will be. Be proud of the ever changing, ever trying person you are becoming. 

7. Always hold yourself with the highest respect. People can be mean. Whether it be a boyfriend who says something unkind, a boss who makes you feel incompetent or someone that makes you feel worthless. We’ve all been there. Respect yourself and always know your worth. 

8. Love each other. Careers, money and material things all seem important at some point in your life. What’s most important though is that you remember how and who you were raised with. Nothing can replace a sibling or family member. Cherish each other, keep each others secrets, be there for each other and most importantly, love each other. One day, dad and I won’t be here, and I hope that you will continue to be the two most important people in each other’s lives. 

9. Laugh often. Life goes so quickly and there are so many moments missed where we can really be our silly selves. Don’t take things too seriously and laugh at every chance you get…it’s good for the soul. 

10. TRY to see the positive in all situations. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason despite the horrendous cliche. Failed relationships have pushed me in directions to meet the right people. Closed doors meant that other doors I never would have dreamed of were opened. While I too have a habit to think negatively, I can only encourage you to see the good in all that you have and do. 

11. That life treat you kindly but also teach you lessons along the way. Life gives us lessons that help us become better people. There will be sadness and tragedies that you must endure. Although I wish I could take those all away, the best thing we can do is to grow from them.

12. Find passion in what makes you happy. What is life without passion? I hope that you love whoever or whatever it is that makes your heart skip a beat. Whether it’s dancing all night long or curling up with a good book, may your life be filled with simple pleasures or whatever it is that your heart desires.

13. Always remember where your roots lie. Remember your culture and be proud of it, for it is all these features and traditions that have shaped who you are today. Even if it’s following one tradition a year, make sure that you instill it into your future children and give them roots to hold onto. Keep the beautiful traditions we’ve made and start wonderful new ones of your own.

14. Meet life with a thankful heart. There is always something to be thankful for, even on the worst of days. Find it every night before you go to bed and keep a thankful heart for even the smallest of things that you have. Allow this thought to wake you up with intent and commitment for the day ahead of you.

15. Find contentment. Growing up in NY is not easy. There will always be someone who has more than you, financially, emotionally, physically. Do not let the rat race affect you. Be content with what you have and enjoy it.

16. Learn from your mistakes. You will make them, in fact you will probably make lots of them. But don’t linger too long on why it happened, but how it won’t happen again. Embrace it, learn from it, change it up, then move on.

17. Always trust your gut. That feeling you get when something isn’t right? Trust it. It’s more often right than wrong.

18. Don’t take things too seriously. Life is too short to take so seriously. That project will get done, midterm season will eventually end, and with time and hard work you will become whatever it is you want to become. Time goes quickly and before you know it you will have and be all the things you have ever dreamed. 

19. Treat people kindly and compassionately. Above all other things, treat people kindly. Don’t let people take advantage of you, but always try to see where other people are coming from. That boss who yelled at you may be going through a difficult divorce. That woman driving slowly in front of you is someone else’s mother. That lady in the car who just cut you off may have a screaming baby in the back seat and is extremely anxious to get home. Always try to empathize with others and see that we are all just trying to get through this thing called life together. 

Whenever you are feeling like you want to give up or that things are just too hard, please look at this list and know that many people have been where you have been. Things get better, life goes on and I wish you nothing but love and happiness in all that you do for all of your days. 

What are some things that you want to share for your own children? I’d love to hear them and wishing you a happy and healthy 2019!